enough of gossips, back to the chat rooms

And there goes the personal development that took place in England totally out the window... I’m back to living my life on line instead of IRL, back to the chat rooms and forums. In England I learned to open up to people around me and stay in what’s here and now, flesh and blood. I don’t get the social life I need here on the island, and I don’t want it either. It’s always risky to be true with who you are, your thoughts, opinions and believes in a small scale society, even more so when it’s such an isolated one. You never know who you can talk to and about what, without the gossip spreading all over town. There are so many “information vampires” out there, who suck every bit of information they can out of others, but don’t share anything about themselves or what goes on in their heads. This way of life suits my husband well, who’s reserved by nature. There’s no risk of him ever giving up any personal information, me and my blabber mouth on the other hand… And as I’ve already established I don’t care a tuppence about the “safe topics” people around me find important… Like gossip about other people and everyone they’re related to several generations back, growing your own food, harvesting your own food, cooking your own food, building your own house, knitting your own socks… I’m just amazed people of my age in this civilized world chose to live like my grandmother. Nope, I’m back to the chat rooms and forums for real discussions on what really matters in blessed anonymity. It’s a relief actually, to give up trying to create a social life that won’t be satisfying no matter how hard you try. I have a couple of friends IRL that I could probably trust with anything, but they’re part of the church we decided to leave… and they’re also very busy members of that church. I don’t see them much now as we’re not part of the same community anymore and their church activities and my work and kids come between. Also, our making the decision to leave the church has created a gap between us even though we all try hard not to let it… The fact that we have such strong opinions creates an uncertainty for those who still believe this church is on the right track and agree with the visions we have taken a stand against… Of course we’re making them uncomfortable, no matter how carefully we try to avoid it. Making friends and opening up to the people I have around me on every day basis, like colleagues, parents to the boys friends, neighbors… No, that’s just totally out of the question. My entertainment value is far too high I gather… The few issues and thoughts I have confided someone has been known by “everyone” in the blink of an eye. So from here on - Internet it is for anything that matters.